Healing takes time. This year has been full of emotional ups and downs. A few months ago, my grandmother passed away, a lady of such enormous strength and style. A lady who lived through The Blitz and became a welder. A lady who kept her family together with a gentle guiding hand and rock solid support. We became closer than ever in her final months and I was guilty of believing she would always be there, until she wasn’t. Around the same time, a very old friend passed away, a few days after a phone call that I know now was a final goodbye. Emotional. Somewhat.
Picking up my camera felt like the hardest thing I could do through all of this, the creativity that needs to flow through me to create beautiful images for the wonderful families who come to me, deserted me. I hated it but I had to turn down work rather that than give less than my very best. I thought I was done with photography, or it was done with me.
When Jennie and I spoke on the phone about booking a session, she told me the doubts she had about having her photo taken, concerns about her daughter’s best time of day in between naps and how she would cope with a session. During that conversation, a positive energy sparked in me, I felt the desire in Jennie to get this right, that it was important to her to capture this time with her family. She told me that her little one was best first thing in the morning, so we decided on an early morning shoot before the morning nap and to get the soft morning light.
I’ll admit, I was worried that the creativity would desert me at the last minute but I knew how vital these images were going to be for Jennie and also for me to heal. As a photographer I’m all too aware that these images are people’s memories and that is the greatest gift we can give. It has released a new energy in me to follow my creative heart, to work with more families who are passionate about capturing their memories and to let the feelings come, feelings are a good thing.